Latest from The Brief

Uncle Sam is smarter than you.

And his laws make your life suck keep you safe.

Case in point:

You've gotta ditch removable batteries in smoke alarms.

Only 10-year sealed batteries will do.

For fun, we asked the retired hippie working the Lowes aisle about sealed batteries.

Good chance you'll b...

You knew this was coming.

But it still hurts.

We told you that HB 2775 was headed to the Governor's desk.

And that he would sign it...

* shudders *

Welp, he did.

So congratulations - you're now a Section 8 Landlord!

That's right.

You must take Section 8 Tenants (if all else checks out).

You...

You: Hey, I’m dropping by tomorrow to inspect the place.

Tenant: I’m in Vegas for two weeks.  I don’t want anyone in the home when I’m not there.

* cracks knuckles *

Oh, my bad.

Guess you didn’t get the memo (or read the lease).

You see, I don’t need your permission to enter.

You get one thing...

The million dollar question.

"You have the best Tenants!  What’s your secret?!?”

* clears throat *

”Oh, ya know.  

I check Facebook.  

Maybe Google.

Nothin’ special - I just go with my gut!”

Who can argue with that?

Hmm... take a guess.

Yep - lawyers.  Even bad ones can make you look like a...

It’s your lucky day.

The *perfect* Tenants want your house.

References check out.

They have money.

And your criminal history is worse than theirs.

* traffic tickets count - nice try *

They want to move in ASAP.

So you sign the killer lease and email it over.

Six hours later - no response.

H...

Your Tenants pay a security deposit, right?

* um, yeah... *

Smart move.

It's a great way to protect yourself (and get paid).

But where do you keep it?

It's not your money, after all.

Invest in Bitcoin?

Your personal bank account?

A Mason jar buried in the backyard?

Nah, you know better.

Th...

Google rocks.

It can make you an *expert* on anything.

But sometimes Google is wrong.

Say you want to know how much you can charge in late fees.

If you’re not a Legal Plan Member, you can’t just call a lawyer for the answer (without getting billed).

So you Google it.

And find this:

• $20 or 2...

So, um…

Remember that law we mentioned a few months back?

The one forcing you to be a Section 8 Landlord.

At the time, it just passed the House.

But now it’s headed to Gov. Pritzker’s desk.

And it’s a sure bet he signs it.

* Googles Section 8 housing *

Section 8 is a federal program offering ...

“Yo… we got a leaky sink!” shouts your Tenant.

By now, your plumber is on speed dial.

He fixed it lickety-split (no major issues).

Until that night.

Three missed calls - in less than a minute - from your Tenant.

And this text - “Your plumber STOLE my fish!”

Wait, what?!?

Surely he’s joking (o...

Never try to predict what your Tenants will do.

You’ll always be wrong.

Yes, some things are their fault.

Other times, not so much.

While you can’t guess the future, you can protect against it.

Do this in your lease (or use ours).

Make your Tenant’s carry renter’s insurance.

These policies co...

Wanna learn some magic?

It won’t impress your friends.

But it will save you from suing a stranger in your home.

It’s two words.

Sprinkle them on eviction notices and lawsuits.

Here’s why…

Folks must be listed by name to get evicted.

Let’s say Tim Tenant moves in his latest fling (without your...

Raise your right hand.

Do you swear to tell the truth?

The whole truth?

And nothing but the truth?

* wipes sweat off forehead *

Have you ever testified in court?

If so, you know a Judge will ask this before you take the stand (as if it matters).

If everyone tells the truth, how can their stor...